Чей-то нынче поляки стали напоминать старую хохму. Правда сейчас у них больше шансов исчезнуть с карты мира, чем дойти до Костромы.

Форест, форест, форест; винтер, винтер, винтер; энималз, энималз, энималз…

Он зе миддл оф зе роуд стэйз Иван Сусанин.
Польская сволочь камз.
– Вань, Вань, вилл ю телл аз зе вей ту зе Москов-сити?
– Ай донт кнов, – сэйд Иван Сусанин енд вери широко смайлд.
– Ванья, ви шелл гив ю мени далларз, иф ю гайд ас то рашн партизанс!
– Ноу!
– Ванья, ви шелл гив ю мени рублз!
– Ноу!
– Ванья, ви шелл кам бэк ту аур хоум – зей сэйд.
– Ноу! – сэйд Иван Сусанин энд гайдз зем то а форест фар-фар-фар эвей.
– Ванья, ви шел килл ю нахуй, зей сэд.
– ПробАбли, пробАбли, – гордо ансверз Иван Сусанин.
Соу Иван Сусанин бикейм зе Хироу оф зе Совьет Юньон.

Кому Ванга наванговала, а мне кажется, что Леонард Коэн предвидел будущее лучше любой Ванги…

Give me back my broken night
My mirrored room, my secret life
It’s lonely here
There’s no one left to torture
Give me absolute control
Over every living soul
And lie beside me, baby
That’s an order

Give me crack and anal sex
Take the only tree that’s left
And stuff it up the hole
In your culture
Give me back the Berlin wall
Give me Stalin and St. Paul
I’ve seen the future, brother
It is murder

Things are going to slide, slide in all directions
Won’t be nothing (won’t be nothing)
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
Has crossed the threshold
And it’s overturned
The order of the soul

When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant

You don’t know me from the wind
You never will, you never did
I’m the little Jew
Who wrote the Bible
I’ve seen the nations rise and fall
I’ve heard their stories, heard them all
But love’s the only engine of survival
Your servant here, he has been told
To say it clear, to say it cold
It’s over, it ain’t going
Any further (do, do, do)
And now the wheels of heaven stop
You feel the devil’s riding crop
Get ready for the future
It is murder (do, do, do)

Things are going to slide
Slide in all directions
Won’t be nothing (won’t be)
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
Has crossed the threshold
And it’s overturned
The order of the soul

When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant

There’ll be the breaking of the ancient
Western code
Your private life will suddenly explode (ooh, ooh)
There’ll be phantoms
There’ll be fires on the road
And the white man dancing

You’ll see a woman
Hanging upside down (ooh, ooh)
Her features covered by her fallen gown (ooh, ooh)
And all the lousy little poets
Coming round
Tryin’ to sound like Charlie Manson
Yeah, the white man dancin’

Give me back the Berlin wall
Give me Stalin and St. Paul
Give me Christ or give me Hiroshima (do, do, do)
Destroy another fetus now
We don’t like children anyhow
I’ve seen the future, baby
It is murder (do, do, do)

Things are going to slide, slide in all directions
Won’t be nothing (won’t be)
Nothing you can measure anymore
The blizzard, the blizzard of the world
Has crossed the threshold
And it’s overturned
The order of the soul

When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)
I wonder what they meant
When they said (they said) repent (repent), repent (repent)

Выпил коньячку и нахлынули воспоминания шебутной молодости…

Муха-Муха-ЦеКатуха
Позолоченное брюхо –
Муха по полю пошла,
Муха денежку нашла.
Пошла Муха на базар
и купила Муха… план!
Села Муха на сучок
и забила косячок.
Сидит Муха курит план –
наша Муха наркоман!

И еще одно воспоминание связалось с новомодной оспой:

Однажды Лебедь, Рак и Щука
создать задумали квартет –
поставили Мартышку раком –
ебут-ебут, а звука нет…