Сосисечное время: September 3, 2015 8:07 am
Все записи: Библиотека (+8), Старое-Любимое (+4)
Притча эта давно расползлась по всему Рунету, но в большинстве копий отсутствует автор.
К сожалению Димы Горчева, написавшего эту притчу, уже много лет нет на свете. Но мне хочется чтобы те кто ищет этот текст, находили его с именем автора.
Дмитрий Горчев
ПРОСВЕТЛЁННЫЙ ДАО И СТРАШНОЕ ЧЕРНОЕ ЛЕСНОЕ ГОВНО
Однажды некий мудрец, не просветленный Дао и не похуист по натуре, шел по лесу,размышляя о Смысле Жизни.
Внезапно на тропинке показалось Страшное Черное Лесное Говно.
– Мудрец, я тебя сейчас съем!
И мудрец, не просветленный Дао и не похуист по натуре, заплакал и убежал.
Мораль: говна бояться – в лес не ходить.
Однажды некий мудрец, просветленный Дао и не похуист по натуре, шел по лесу, размышляя о Смысле Жизни.
Внезапно на тропинке показалось Страшное Черное Лесное Говно.
– Мудрец, я тебя сейчас съем!
Мудрец, просветленный Дао и не похуист по натуре,ответил:
– Hет, Страшное Черное Лесное Говно, это я тебя съем!
Долго они препирались, но Мудрец, просветленный Дао и не похуист по натуре, оказался сильнее, чем Страшное Черное Лесное Говно. И съел его.
Мораль: Добро опять победило зло, но у победы какой-то странный вкус…
Однажды некий мудрец, не просветленный Дао и похуист по натуре, шел по лесу, размышляя о Смысле Жизни.
Внезапно на тропинке показалось Страшное Черное Лесное Говно.
– Мудрец, я тебя сейчас съем!
Мудрец, не просветленный Дао и похуист по натуре, ответил:
– Да ебал я тебя и твоих ебаных родителей в рот, пиздоблядская хуевина!
И пинком ботинка отшвырнул Страшное Черное Лесное Говно нахуй с тропинки.
Тропинка освободилась, но сильно запахло говном.
Мораль: Hе тронь говно, а то завоняет.
Однажды некий мудрец, просветленный Дао и похуист по натуре, шел по лесу, размышляя о Смысле Жизни.
Внезапно на тропинке показалось Страшное Черное Лесное Говно.
– Мудрец, я тебя сейчас съем!
Мудрец, просветленный Дао и похуист по натуре, не опускаясь до разговоров со всяким говном, продолжил свой путь. И Страшное Черное Лесное Говно заплакало и навсегда-навсегда убежало из Леса, ибо обожало беседы с мудрецами.
Мораль: размышляешь о Смысле Жизни – не снисходи до пиздежа со всяким говном…
Хрюша
Сосисечное время: April 21, 2011 5:18 pm
Все записи: Старое-Любимое (+4)
Я очень люблю эту притчу и не хочу ее каждый раз искать по сети. Поэтому сохраняю ее здесь в двух наиболее популярных вариантах. Переводить лень. Может потом, когда-нибудь переведу.
An old man and his dog were walking down a hot, dusty road lined with a beautiful white fence on both sides. As they walked along, the old man and his dog became very thirsty and tired.
Soon, they came to a gate in the fence where, on the other side, they saw a nice grassy, wooded area surrounding a cool clear pool of fresh water. “Just where a thirsty ‘huntin’ dog and a man would like to rest!” thought the old man. But there was a sign over the gate that read “No Dogs” so they walked on.
Further on, they came upon a man in flowing white robes standing just inside a strong iron gate across a path that led to a beautiful, sunny meadow with a cool clear stream running through it.
“‘Scuse me Sir,” said the old man, “My dog and I have been on this road all day. Mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?” “Of course!” The man said. “Come on in and rest. You look thirsty and tired.” The old man said, “We sure are!” and started through the gate with his dog.
The gatekeeper stopped him. “Sorry, you can come in but your dog can’t come with you. “You see, this is Heaven, and dogs aren’t allowed here. He has to stay out here on the road.” “What kind of Heaven won’t allow dogs?” said the old man. “Well, if he can’t come in, then I’ll stay out here on the road with him. He’s been my faithful companion all his life and I won’t desert him now.”
“Suit yourself,” said the gatekeeper, “but I have to warn you, the Devil’s on this road and he’ll try to sweet talk you into his place. He’ll promise you anything, but dogs can’t go there either. If you won’t leave that dog on the road, you’ll spend all Eternity on the road with him. Better if you stay here.”
“Well, I’m stayin’ with my dog,” replied the man and he and the dog walked on. Gradually, the fence became more and more faded and rundown until they finally reached a spot where the boards fell away completely leaving a gap. Another man dressed in old, ragged clothes sat just inside the broken fence under a shady tree.
“‘Scuse me Sir,” said the old man, “My dog and I have been on this road all day. Mind if we come in and sit in the shade for awhile?” “Of course!” The man said. “Come on in and rest. There’s some cold water here under the tree. Make yourself comfortable.”
The old man paused, “but what about my dog? Can he can come in, too? The man up the road said dogs weren’t allowed here, and they had to stay on the road.” The other man answered, “Well, you look pretty tired and thirsty. Would you come in here and rest if you had to leave that dog?”
“No sir!” the old man replied, “A glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now but I won’t come in if my buddy here can’t come too. I didn’t go to Heaven because my dog couldn’t come with me, so I sure as how ain’t about to go to Hell without him neither.”
The man smiled and said, “Welcome to Heaven, and bring your dog!” The old man exclaimed, “You mean this is Heaven? And my dog can come with me? Then why did that fellow down the road say they weren’t allowed in Heaven?” The man replied, “That was the Devil and he gets all the souls who are willing to give up a life-long companion for small comfort because they think it will make their lives a little easier.”
The man continued, “They soon find out their mistake, but, then it’s too late. The dogs come here, the fickle people stay there. God wouldn’t allow dogs to be banned from Heaven. After all, He created them to be man’s companions in life, why would he separate them in death?”
A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead. He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them…
After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble. At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.
When he was standing before it he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate of pure gold. He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.
When he was close enough, he called out, “Excuse me, where are we?”
“This is Heaven, sir,” the man answered. “Wow! Would you happen to have some water?” the man asked.
Of course, sir. Come right in, and I”ll have some ice water brought right up.”The man gestured, and the gate began to open.
“Can my friend,” gesturing toward his dog, “come in, too?” the traveler asked.
“I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t accept pets.”
The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.
After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed. There was no fence.
As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book.
“Excuse me!” he called to the man. “Do you have any water?”
“Why sure, there”s a pump over there, come on in.”
“How about my friend here?” the traveler gestured to the dog.
“There should be a bowl by the pump.”
They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.
The traveler filled the water bowl for the dog and took a long drink himself. When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.
“What do you call this place?” the traveler asked.
“This is Heaven,” he answered.
“Well, that’s confusing,” the traveler said. “The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.”
“Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That”s hell.”
“Doesn’t it make you mad for them to use your name like that?”
“No, we’re just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.”
Хрюша
